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Writer's picturejane doe

love advice from my grandmother

my grandfather asked me

"is there any man in your life now?"

almost as if i'd never be whole on my own

i say,

"no, i don't have time for games"


looking at my grandmother,

who raised two boys alone

who's called "honeybun" like it's an insult

who let a man come back to the home she made

(without him)

reminds me how sickening it is

that it's believed i'd never be whole on my own


'no, actually, i don't have time to play games of

"i love you" today

"i'm leaving" tomorrow

i'm a challenge or a handful for most men at best

i don't beg

i don't plead, or bargain

and i sure as fuck don't compete

using hyper-independence as an intimidation tactic drives away

weak

egotistical

conceited men'


looking at my grandmother reminds me that

no man, who walks away over challenge is worth the peace that comes with following her advice:


"feel 'em, fuck 'em and forget them."


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